Magnanimous (Generous in Spirit) Gatherings

Let’s Create an Instrument through which Spirit can Blow

Two of my best friends died a few years back, they were my best friends because we told each other everything, we could be absolutely raw with one another... whatever was felt or thought was said, no mask. For 22 years we were really there for each other. When my second friend was dying, I was working at the hospital at night and taking him to chemo and his appointments during the day (they both fought to the very end) On one of the days I was taking him to his appt, I sensed it was one of the last times I would speak to him and I knew I had to ask him, "what do you have to say to me?" (I know about dying, I've been around it all my life... I know at that point you are most surely "closest to spirit" "are a channel to god" more so than ever and I wanted to know what he felt he needed to say) What he had to say I will never forget.... "Keep showing up Jules, just keep showing up." I thought I knew what he meant at the time, but years more down the road... I hope a little more wise and closer to spirit myself... I so very much understand. I not only understand, but I consciously try to make it a practice. It took me a while Greg.... but I am so thankful for your spirit "ringing in my ears." Thank you Greg! "Showing up... being present is often the greatest, most precious gift we can really bestow on anyone. To be in another beings company with our heart open, porous... to see and be seen, to know and be known, something gets born in the soil of our having come together that would not have been born had we not joined hands and hearts in the same moment, same place, at the same time. Just by being here we create an instrument through which spirit can blow... so we can see one another, know one another, listen to one another. It's about trusting the grace in people, the wisdom, the courage and all the kinds of capital that there are in the world besides money (courage, wisdom, enthusiasm, hope, joy) capital that needs to be liberated, generosity that doesn't need to be taught, it needs to be liberated somehow. People ache to be kind, people ache to give what they have, to offer their gift, to bring something for nourishment to the table, for the community for which they belong and they ache to take something in return... this precious river of giving and receiving... our call, we imagine, is to be a generous life. We feel under nourished because we can't give what we ache to give, not because we are not getting enough." I am creating a group called "Magnanimous (Generous in Spirit) Gatherings" This gathering is for those who wish to see the gifts (miracles, abundance, wonder, joy, magic...) of life... We talk so much about things that aren't working or how we are "just okay"... I want to hear about what is working in your life, where you see the "magic & miracles happening"... synchronicity... “coincidences” what you are attracting with your positive "new vibrations"... "The more we see, the more we create... & vice versa & so on & so forth.... May you see the wonder... the awe in life... Your friend, Juli

Lifelong Struggles with Power and Surrender

I was talking with my dad the other day... I told him I remember when I was a teenager, he and I were standing in the kitchen talking about my relationship with my new boyfriend... and my dad said to me "Juli, you are like a bulldozer and some things just can't be bulldozed." My dad of course, doesn't remember saying that, but it stuck with me. I thought about it now and then through the years, but I always brushed it off... I didn't really get it... by then I was already deep in denial of everything in my life except feelings of emotional highs/lows, I had been an insane bulimic for two years by that time. I was way deep in hating myself... and the hate had begun at the age of 14... about the same time I broke up with my first boyfriend, my parents split up and I took on the role of my mothers "protector" and my sisters "mom"... it wasn't long before they treated me as if they couldn't stand me either... they didn't want "to be seen with me".... so life became just me and how I could prove I was worthy... the dance, how could I be "enough" /maybe I am enough/never quite being enough. Maybe that's when the bulldozing started, I don't know and I'm not going to analyze it. I thought it probably started in the womb... dad said I almost got my head shaved coming out (dad also said, when I was born I was so hairy he thought my mom had been fooling around in the zoo) I didn't wait for the doctor to deliver me, no episiotomy, just getting shaved and I ripped right through... I didn't even say "I'm sorry"... I'll have to do that... on my 48th birthday (about 2 mo. from now... God, I really love getting older) I'll send mom a "better late than never" card. So, you can see why I thought it began in the womb... I think coming into the world that way... could be considered "Bulldozing"! Ok, so here I am now, conscious of when I'm having my bouts and fits of pushing too hard. I don't always notice it raising up in me immediately, yet, it is obvious when the frustration kicks in. So, the balance for me comes in conscious awareness of living life in flow, sometimes pushing but, yet.... when I come to the moment the pushing feels like I hit a wall and I begin to struggle... it is time to surrender. I try to live my life mostly in the flow, surrendering to the presence... absolute trust Spirit, the universe is moving around and through me. I do not regret any of my life, I feel sad about some things... it took every one of my steps to get to where I am in this moment... and I very much love this life I live... I trust I can touch yours... because you will touch another's..... May you allow love to live through you... Your friend, Juli